By Tom Ososki

Have you ever wondered if you make the cut as a bona fide SAP resident?

Let’s find out. First off, there are three types of automatic qualifiers: (1) Previous winners of the Michael Brasel Spirit of the Park award. (2) Children who grew up in SAP and moved back as an adult. (3) Children who never left!

For all others, read the 13 questions below and award yourself a point for each one answered affirmatively.

1. Have you spent a full winter season volunteering at the Langford hockey rinks shoveling off the ice shavings at 10 p.m?
2. Have you participated in the 4th of July Parade at least 10 times? Sorry, this does not include following the fire truck afterwards to Langford Park.
3. Do you know the significance of Horace W.S. Cleveland?
4. Do you know one good story about each of the previous two owners of your current place of residence?
5. Have you been to see a show in the Art Deco theater at Murray Middle School? (If not, go!)
6. If someone asks you the differences among north St. Anthony Park, south St. Anthony Park, St. Paul District 12, the original St. Anthony, St. Anthony Main and the Village of St. Anthony, can you answer them succinctly?
7. Do you know the first name of a staff person at five of our brick-and-mortar businesses or institutions?
8. If someone asks if you have David Lanegran’s book, “St. Anthony Park: Portrait of a Community,” do you not only have it, but know exactly where it is for reference?
9. Do you know the name of Father Louis Hennepin’s patron saint and where that saint dwelt?
10. Do you know a person who graduated from Murray High School?
11. Have you been a sturdy volunteer at one of our many organizations in the neighborhood?
12. Have you attended a minimum of 10 progressive dinners?
13. Have you lived in the same residence for 40 years or more?

The grades:

• Zero: You are, figuratively and literally, a place-holder, but welcome to the neighborhood!
• 1-2: You have your foot in the ground, but are you stuck in the mud or just getting started?
• 3-5: You are an up and comer.
• 6-9: You are lingering in the middle. So, what are you going to do about it? Seriously, are you going to live here 40 years?
• 10-11: You are almost there, neighbor!
• 12: Call your best friend and have them nominate you for the Michael Brasel Spirit of the Park award. You deserve it!
• 13: You are perfect, but humble, and would never announce you got a perfect score. If you did announce you got a perfect score, then you receive the dreaded asterisk.

Tom Ososki is an SAP resident. He scored eight on his own test.