By Jenni Wolf

As we wrap up one holiday (Thanksgiving) and swing right into a few more, I wanted to share a little more about a relevant topic that comes up in many of my one-on-one sessions with clients, working as a dietitian, that I call “table talk”.

         Table talk refers to the conversations we have around food, dieting and nutrition while preparing and eating a meal (or snacks) together.  These conversations, comments and dialogues are often present in our culture around any ol’ eating time.

But they seem to occur even more around the holidays. For some reason, we Americans really like to talk about what we are or aren’t eating.

I’ve found table talk comments tend to be negative and promote shame – either for the speaker or the audience or both. Who has ever heard someone comment on their “misbehaving” because they enjoyed another donut from the work breakroom? Or share that they will pass on the mashed potatoes because they aren’t eating carbs right now?

Or maybe you’ve heard your aunt rationalize eating an extra slice of pie because it is a “guilty pleasure”?

If you’ve heard these things, how do they make you feel?

Do you partake in the discussion? Maybe you’ve spoken similar thoughts? Or maybe you’ve never noticed.

The truth is these comments can have a harmful impact on some people, especially those who are working on having a normal healthy relationship with food after a history of dieting or suffering with an eating disorder.  

Even if you haven’t struggled with eating, hearing these kinds of comments can often make you second guess your choices (i.e. what does it mean if I ate the mashed potatoes; should I not have eaten them?) and distract you from paying attention to your body’s cues (i.e. am I full or still hungry?) and from being present with those around you – which is the actual purpose of holiday gatherings, in my opinion.

         Some will argue, “But isn’t it normal to talk about food?”

Yes, absolutely! However, I would also encourage you to think before you speak because we are conditioned by diet culture – a set of mythical beliefs around food, weight and health – that we may not realize what we are saying and the impact it might have on ourselves and others.

While I don’t think it is necessary or helpful to spend a lot of time rationalizing our food choices or beating ourselves up about what we choose to eat, I think it is normal to talk positively about our food experiences or preferences.

For example, instead of naming aloud why you deserve another helping, you can simply say “I am really enjoying this pie and I would like to have another slice.” Or better yet, say nothing at all – who cares if you are having another slice?!

What is actually important is that you notice whether you are enjoying the pie, whether you have room for another slice and whether that would make you feel good … all which you can answer to yourself without saying a word.

Another strategy that I find helpful in recognizing and reducing unhelpful table talk is to ask yourself “Why am I saying this?  What is my purpose in sharing this?” Taking a moment to reflect on your motivation to share might make you realize you don’t need to — that it is just a reflex brought on by cultural norms and diet culture.

I hope my column brings some awareness to all the talk around food, health and nutrition that comes up during this time of year. I know, from my experience as a dietitian, that this talk can make this season even more challenging for some people.  

So, let’s be kind, enjoy the tastes of the holiday season, recognize and honor our bodies’ needs. In short, let’s spend more time connecting with family and friends and less time thinking and talking about the things on our plate.

Jenni Wolf, a registered dietitian, writes about food and nutrition for the Bugle.